Knowing and Making Known the Father to the Fatherless

We last posted after Christmas about how we had been going through some difficult weeks here. Soon after that, God provided us with an amazing, soul-refreshing gift- our dad. On January 11, our dad arrived in Egbe, Nigeria to do construction work at the hospital that is just down the road from the orphanage where we live. We had so much fun getting to share our experiences in Africa with him.

Dad taking a motorcycle tour of Egbe. We were on another motorcycle next to him.

Making s’mores with the kids… Let’s just say they experienced quite the sugar high :)

Dad meeting Dami, the child he and my mom have been sponsoring for over a year.

The three of us wearing traditional Nigerian dress before church

If I could describe the effect our dad’s visit had on us in one word, it would be revitalizing. Which is funny, because the project he was working with in Egbe (through Samaritan’s Purse) is called the hospital revitalization project. Not only did he bring about revitalization at the hospital, but he also brought about revitalization in Courtney and me. The two weeks we spent with him were exactly what we needed to get re-energized, re-focused, and renewed. We are so thankful for our earthly father who came, and for our heavenly father who sent him to us right when we needed him most.

After he left, we had made it to the “home stretch” of our time in Nigeria with only five weeks left. We soon reached a fork in the road. We could go the easier route- start backing away from the kids for our own emotional protection, start solely thinking about plans for our life once we return to the states, and start gradually leaving Africa mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Or, we could choose to remain present in the place where God had us currently, even when it was hard.

What we initially began leaning towards was, of course, the easier option. We noticed ourselves beginning to withdraw in different ways- until Courtney remembered something that happened back in July before we left. A few months before we left for Nigeria, we realized an issue with our visas that would cause us to cut our trip short two weeks. We were extremely disappointed, so the organization we’re working with (H.E.L.P.) went out of their way to fix the issue. At the end of it all, we got our two weeks back and were able to stay the full time.

Why would God have made a way for us to resolve that issue if he just wanted us to spend our last few weeks sitting around waiting to leave? He wouldn’t have! He had a purpose planned for our last few weeks. In fact, he has a purpose for every single minute of our lives, and that’s why it’s so important to spend our minutes, hours, and days being present exactly where we are. So that’s exactly what we decided to do, and… it was awesome.

We climbed a mountain and played with sling shots.

We spent our Sunday afternoons just hanging out together.

We traveled deep into the bush to a camp of Fulani people.

And we somehow built relationships with the women and children there despite the fact that we didn't speak their language and didn't have someone interpreting for us... So amazing.

We had a really fun and encouraging send forth party. Here is Courtney with one girl who is going to miss her like crazy, Titi.

Then finally today, we had to say our goodbyes. Heart-wrenching doesn’t begin to describe it. These children are so dear to us, and we will miss them every single day from now until we get to see them again. Here are some of the last pictures we took in Egbe:

Courtney with Dami

Me with Seun

Last snap in Egbe... So glad it was of these sweet faces

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for a while because I know it’s not going to be easy. Even not being a natural writer, it’s been fun to post about meeting monkeys, winning soccer games, and playing with the kids. Writing about the not-so-enjoyable experiences is much more difficult though. But they’re important to share too, so here we go!

The past few weeks have been tough. Courtney and I have officially reached the end of the honeymoon phase of culture shock. Culture shock is the array of emotions someone experiences when they become immersed in a new environment, and it tends to be divided into four phases. The first, usually called the honeymoon stage, is when you come across cultural differences and think, “How cool and interesting that things work this way here instead of the way they do at home!” This lasts for a while- generally around three months, which is the mark we passed just a few weeks ago. I’ve heard the next phase called a few different names- rejection phase, irritability phase, hostility phase. During this time, cultural differences are no longer amusing or intriguing. They are frustrating and upsetting. You frequently feel angry, depressed, lonely, exhausted, homesick, resentful, hypersensitive, critical, etc. You suffer physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Later, you start to adapt better in the adjustment phase; and eventually you reach the bicultural phase, where you can function comfortably and have a sense of belonging.

Courtney and I have entered into the second stage, and it has been really, really hard. We’re sick of not fitting in here no matter how hard we try. We’re sick of being considered inferior to men and having to live out the daily hardships of that. We’re tired of the Internet service going out when we’re in the middle of skyping with our family for the first time in two months. We’re ready to trade our rice and beans dinner for hamburgers and french fries. We miss the natural energy and physical strength we have in the U.S as opposed to the constant exhaustion here. We hate being misunderstood and misunderstanding others. We just want things to be easy instead of every small interaction requiring immense amounts of effort, concentration, humility, flexibility, etc. All of that whining is to say this: we’ve been struggling lately. Yes, living in Nigeria has been full of joy and adventure. We wouldn’t trade this experience for the world! But it’s also had its trials, and recently we’ve been feeling the weight of them more than usual.

When I first realized we would be going through this difficult phase during the Christmas season, I was really disappointed. Christmas is supposed to be happy and cheerful, not heavy and trying- right? Well, yes, but not exactly…

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus being born on earth; that is, God taking the form of a human. The transition from living in the United States to living in Nigeria has been huge and overwhelming, but I’m betting it doesn’t compare to the transition from living in Heaven, fully God, to living on earth, fully God AND fully man. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice when He “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). He endured the most massive culture shock imaginable, for one purpose… To reconcile mankind to God by atoning for our sins.

Nothing we do in this life could ever compare to what Jesus did through his birth, life, death, and resurrection. But the difficulties Courtney and I have been going through lately have given us a tiny glimpse into some of the difficulties Jesus faced when He was on this earth. And we’re more thankful for His sufferings because of the small sacrifices we’ve been making lately.

I know that on the surface this is sort of a sad post. But really, it’s not. Jesus came to earth and took away our sins and now we can know God personally! That’s awesome. And the purpose of our lives on earth is to proclaim that truth to all the ends of the earth- no matter what the sacrifice! So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Jesus is truly the joy of this season.

Here are a few pictures to show some of the joys Jesus has given us these past few weeks! These kids certainly know how to put smiles on our faces even when we’re going through tough times!