Christmas and Culture Shock

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for a while because I know it’s not going to be easy. Even not being a natural writer, it’s been fun to post about meeting monkeys, winning soccer games, and playing with the kids. Writing about the not-so-enjoyable experiences is much more difficult though. But they’re important to share too, so here we go!

The past few weeks have been tough. Courtney and I have officially reached the end of the honeymoon phase of culture shock. Culture shock is the array of emotions someone experiences when they become immersed in a new environment, and it tends to be divided into four phases. The first, usually called the honeymoon stage, is when you come across cultural differences and think, “How cool and interesting that things work this way here instead of the way they do at home!” This lasts for a while- generally around three months, which is the mark we passed just a few weeks ago. I’ve heard the next phase called a few different names- rejection phase, irritability phase, hostility phase. During this time, cultural differences are no longer amusing or intriguing. They are frustrating and upsetting. You frequently feel angry, depressed, lonely, exhausted, homesick, resentful, hypersensitive, critical, etc. You suffer physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Later, you start to adapt better in the adjustment phase; and eventually you reach the bicultural phase, where you can function comfortably and have a sense of belonging.

Courtney and I have entered into the second stage, and it has been really, really hard. We’re sick of not fitting in here no matter how hard we try. We’re sick of being considered inferior to men and having to live out the daily hardships of that. We’re tired of the Internet service going out when we’re in the middle of skyping with our family for the first time in two months. We’re ready to trade our rice and beans dinner for hamburgers and french fries. We miss the natural energy and physical strength we have in the U.S as opposed to the constant exhaustion here. We hate being misunderstood and misunderstanding others. We just want things to be easy instead of every small interaction requiring immense amounts of effort, concentration, humility, flexibility, etc.  All of that whining is to say this: we’ve been struggling lately. Yes, living in Nigeria has been full of joy and adventure. We wouldn’t trade this experience for the world! But it’s also had its trials, and recently we’ve been feeling the weight of them more than usual.

When I first realized we would be going through this difficult phase during the Christmas season, I was really disappointed. Christmas is supposed to be happy and cheerful, not heavy and trying- right? Well, yes, but not exactly…

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus being born on earth; that is, God taking the form of a human. The transition from living in the United States to living in Nigeria has been huge and overwhelming, but I’m betting it doesn’t compare to the transition from living in Heaven, fully God, to living on earth, fully God AND fully man. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice when He “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). He endured the most massive culture shock imaginable, for one purpose… To reconcile mankind to God by atoning for our sins.

Nothing we do in this life could ever compare to what Jesus did through his birth, life, death, and resurrection. But the difficulties Courtney and I have been going through lately have given us a tiny glimpse into some of the difficulties Jesus faced when He was on this earth. And we’re more thankful for His sufferings because of the small sacrifices we’ve been making lately.

I know that on the surface this is sort of a sad post. But really, it’s not. Jesus came to earth and took away our sins and now we can know God personally! That’s awesome. And the purpose of our lives on earth is to proclaim that truth to all the ends of the earth- no matter what the sacrifice! So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Jesus is truly the joy of this season.

Here are a few pictures to show some of the joys Jesus has given us these past few weeks! These kids certainly know how to put smiles on our faces even when we’re going through tough times!

Toyin and me taking a break from working on holiday homework

Courtney and Titi using some cool photographs to learn more about each other

Segun, Joshua, Dami, and Niyi just chilling in a tree... They are hilarious.

We did a girls day and painted all of their nails... Look at those smiles!

Me painting Kike's toe nails pink!

Eating popcorn before watching a movie together

Seun and me waiting for a soccer match to begin

Courtney laughing with one of the funniest little boys ever, Joshua

Me with Blessing and Ajoke, the two youngest girls at the Care Center :)

Top 5 Things I'm Thankful For

Here are the top five things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving:

1.  God: God is not only at the top of the list, but He’s throughout the entire list. There’s nothing I could express gratitude for without first expressing gratitude for God- as He is the creator and giver of all good things! I’m thankful that God is who He is, that He created the universe, that He made humans in His image, and that He desires a relationship with us. I’m thankful that through His wisdom, God ordained a way to have a relationship with us despite our imperfection, through the ultimate sacrifice, His son Jesus Christ; and that He didn’t compromise any parts of His character- His holiness, justice, mercy, or love- in His perfect plan. I’m thankful that Jesus humbly came down to earth, being wholly God and wholly man simultaneously, that He lived a life that is an example to us and that allows Him to understand our human struggles, and that He died to take our place and atone for our sin. And I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit, which allows us to know God, love God, serve God, and become more like God (though perfection will never be accomplished here on earth). I am so thankful that by God’s grace and not ANYTHING that I have done, through faith, I know God and have a relationship with Him. I love you, Lord. Thank you.
   
2.  People: For my family, for my friends, for acquaintances, for strangers, and for those who have been “enemies” at some point. I love people. I love how everyone is different and special in some ways, and yet how there are some things that ALL humans have in common and can relate to. I love the people I’ve met in my hometown and the people I’ve met all around the world. I love the people who have made my life joyful and beautiful, and I love the people who have brought me to challenges that eventually led to growth. So thank you, God, for all the people you’ve placed in my life. And thank you, people, for being who you are and for playing a role in my life, however big or small.
   
3. Love: Love is amazing. Not the feeling love, but the choice love. Love that is patient and kind, not envious or proud or dishonoring, not self-seeking or easily angered. Love that doesn’t keep record of wrongs, that doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. Love that protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love like that doesn’t come naturally or easily to us, but it is by far the most incredible thing that human beings are capable of doing. Thank you, Jesus, for showing us what love is and for helping us to love well. We love because You first loved us. Thank you to everyone who has loved me throughout my life.
   
4.  Adventures: I’m thankful for adventures of all types and sizes. Some recent adventures that I’ve been on include: going to a Justin Bieber concert, finishing an Accounting degree in two years, going to a luau in Hawaii, getting a kitten for the summer, setting off fireworks on the 4^th of July, watching through entire TV series with my best friends, moving to Nigeria for 6 months, attempting to teach 40 African children how to trick or treat, and trying pie for the first time (tonight!). Thank you, Lord, for all the adventures you’ve sent me on. The little, seemingly insignificant adventures and the huge, exciting ones have helped make my life fun and full.
   
5.  Challenges: As much as I love happy, fun times, I’m also thankful for difficult, challenging times. It’s not a new concept that suffering leads to growth or that it takes bad times to recognize good times; but those concepts have recently been made real to me personally, and I have a new appreciation for the ups and downs of life. There’s a rhythm to life that goes something along the lines of good, then bad, suffering, then joy, hardships, then happiness, hurt, then healing. That rhythm is purposeful and designed to make us know God better and become more like Him. So thank you, Father, for drawing me closer to You through challenges, for leading and guiding me through difficult times, and for eventually bringing me out of suffering to a place of peace and joy. I love you!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you have a beautiful day today, and may we all grow in thankfulness for what God has given us!

Courtney's 23rd Birthday!

Yesterday was Courtney’s 23^rd birthday! The day began with a knock on our door and 40 kids waiting outside…

(Lyrics: Happy Birthday to you, we’re singing. Happy Birthday to you we’re singing, Courtney. Happy Birthday to you, we’re singing. For today we have to rejoice, for our auntie is a year older today. We wish you so many more years, halleluiah. Happy birthday to you we’re singing… Hip hip HOORAY!)

What a sweet way to start off your birthday! Then there was another knock on our door- BLUEBERRY MUFFINS! I knew this was Courtney’s favorite breakfast, and we had a packet of batter mix, so I asked one of our missionary friends to make the muffins in her kitchen and deliver them in the morning. Courtney was delighted, and we ate the muffins very slowly so that we could fully enjoy them :)

Shortly after finishing breakfast, Courtney said she missed the kids already and couldn’t wait for them to get home from school. That’s when I brought out these…

All the kids made her birthday cards that were SO SWEET and also hilarious.

On Thursday mornings, Courtney and I go jogging. It’s really relaxing for us to get in some exercise and do something that refreshes our minds and bodies. So we did that next, then came back to shower. After a little while of laying around and chatting, I got out my laptop and handed it to Courtney. On it was a PowerPoint presentation containing pictures and messages from many of her family and friends back home. Courtney almost immediately burst into tears, followed by laughter, followed by more tears, followed by more laughter, and on and on. The messages were full of fun memories, encouraging words, and well wishes. I know I keep saying this, but it was just so sweet!

Huge thank you to all the people who sent funny pictures and loving messages! You made her day!

After lunch, we went to spend time with some of our friends who are also American missionaries here. They made Courtney BROWNIES and homemade ICE CREAM. Y’all, brownies and homemade ice cream. There are just no words. Spending time with these wonderful friends is always a blessing. They shower us with love and care every day, but they really went the extra mile for Courtney’s birthday! Here’s a picture of Courtney about to blow out the candle on her brownie!

The rest of the afternoon we just hung out with the kids like usual. Courtney got lots of extra hugs and smiles, and she was also lucky enough to get water poured on her throughout the day… a little tradition here!

After dinner, we had a party! There was dancing, a cake, and lots of kind words to celebrate Courtney. The coordinator of the orphanage asked for two volunteers- one boy and one girl- to stand up and say something they know about Courtney. Here were the two responses:
-Kemi, age 10: “She is beautiful, and she is gentle. And she always likes to be teaching people.”
-Tavershima, age 16: “One thing I know about Courtney… I know that she likes to associate with everybody. Even when you don’t want to talk because you are sad, she will try to come closer to you and make you feel happy.”

Courtney with Kemi

Courtney and some of the boys

Overall, it was just a wonderful and special day. My hope is that Courtney felt how adored she is, from one end of the earth to the other. Happy Birthday, Courtney!

Washing Day!

I think the main reason I don’t make much of a blogger is that I have trouble thinking of ideas for what to write! In my mind, unless there’s a major update of some kind, there’s nothing to blog about. But I’ve recently been encouraged to write about even the little things, just to give a glimpse into daily life here. So this blog doesn’t have anything especially exciting or eventful, but I hope you enjoy reading about some of the details of our life in Nigeria.

Wednesdays are washing days. All of the kids wash their clothes for the week, by hand, with a bucket and soap. Sometimes they let us help them, and after we finish washing a shirt they say “eh-coo-shay” (that’s the pronunciation, not the actual spelling), which means “well done” in the Yoruba language. Then they take the shirt, dunk it back into the bucket, and completely re-wash it. I guess we just don’t have the same magical touch they do when it comes to hand-washing!

 

This past Wednesday was an especially fun washing day, because some of the boys decided it would be a good idea to get their butts stuck in the buckets. I hope these pictures capture some of the laughter and chaos of the afternoon.

 One of the younger boys needed a little bit of assistance getting stuck in his bucket, and the others were eager to help… Then to celebrate their teamwork, they gave him a few tosses up into the air!

 

So that was one of our week’s little adventures! One thing is for sure… These sweet kids make each and every day interesting!