Christmas and Culture Shock

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for a while because I know it’s not going to be easy. Even not being a natural writer, it’s been fun to post about meeting monkeys, winning soccer games, and playing with the kids. Writing about the not-so-enjoyable experiences is much more difficult though. But they’re important to share too, so here we go!

The past few weeks have been tough. Courtney and I have officially reached the end of the honeymoon phase of culture shock. Culture shock is the array of emotions someone experiences when they become immersed in a new environment, and it tends to be divided into four phases. The first, usually called the honeymoon stage, is when you come across cultural differences and think, “How cool and interesting that things work this way here instead of the way they do at home!” This lasts for a while- generally around three months, which is the mark we passed just a few weeks ago. I’ve heard the next phase called a few different names- rejection phase, irritability phase, hostility phase. During this time, cultural differences are no longer amusing or intriguing. They are frustrating and upsetting. You frequently feel angry, depressed, lonely, exhausted, homesick, resentful, hypersensitive, critical, etc. You suffer physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Later, you start to adapt better in the adjustment phase; and eventually you reach the bicultural phase, where you can function comfortably and have a sense of belonging.

Courtney and I have entered into the second stage, and it has been really, really hard. We’re sick of not fitting in here no matter how hard we try. We’re sick of being considered inferior to men and having to live out the daily hardships of that. We’re tired of the Internet service going out when we’re in the middle of skyping with our family for the first time in two months. We’re ready to trade our rice and beans dinner for hamburgers and french fries. We miss the natural energy and physical strength we have in the U.S as opposed to the constant exhaustion here. We hate being misunderstood and misunderstanding others. We just want things to be easy instead of every small interaction requiring immense amounts of effort, concentration, humility, flexibility, etc.  All of that whining is to say this: we’ve been struggling lately. Yes, living in Nigeria has been full of joy and adventure. We wouldn’t trade this experience for the world! But it’s also had its trials, and recently we’ve been feeling the weight of them more than usual.

When I first realized we would be going through this difficult phase during the Christmas season, I was really disappointed. Christmas is supposed to be happy and cheerful, not heavy and trying- right? Well, yes, but not exactly…

Christmas is the celebration of Jesus being born on earth; that is, God taking the form of a human. The transition from living in the United States to living in Nigeria has been huge and overwhelming, but I’m betting it doesn’t compare to the transition from living in Heaven, fully God, to living on earth, fully God AND fully man. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice when He “made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness” (Philippians 2:7). He endured the most massive culture shock imaginable, for one purpose… To reconcile mankind to God by atoning for our sins.

Nothing we do in this life could ever compare to what Jesus did through his birth, life, death, and resurrection. But the difficulties Courtney and I have been going through lately have given us a tiny glimpse into some of the difficulties Jesus faced when He was on this earth. And we’re more thankful for His sufferings because of the small sacrifices we’ve been making lately.

I know that on the surface this is sort of a sad post. But really, it’s not. Jesus came to earth and took away our sins and now we can know God personally! That’s awesome. And the purpose of our lives on earth is to proclaim that truth to all the ends of the earth- no matter what the sacrifice! So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Jesus is truly the joy of this season.

Here are a few pictures to show some of the joys Jesus has given us these past few weeks! These kids certainly know how to put smiles on our faces even when we’re going through tough times!

Toyin and me taking a break from working on holiday homework

Courtney and Titi using some cool photographs to learn more about each other

Segun, Joshua, Dami, and Niyi just chilling in a tree... They are hilarious.

We did a girls day and painted all of their nails... Look at those smiles!

Me painting Kike's toe nails pink!

Eating popcorn before watching a movie together

Seun and me waiting for a soccer match to begin

Courtney laughing with one of the funniest little boys ever, Joshua

Me with Blessing and Ajoke, the two youngest girls at the Care Center :)